I've been contemplating the idea since the very moment the words escaped the pediatrician's mouth. After explaining that I'm struggling with the screaming fits of one of my triplets, he smiled a knowing smile, reached for my knee, bent in close and said, "Mom, your feelings are valid and the solution is easy. All you have to do is label her feeling, tell her you won't talk to her until she is done screaming, and then"...here it is...the easy part...."you just ignore her. Don't send her out of the room, just ignore her."
Are you kidding me? "Just ignore her." It was apparent to me then that he has never raised a child that has lungs like my child's, for there is no way to ignore the screams that flow from Angel's mouth. The noise that escapes her lungs reverberate long after the screaming has ceased. With our windows closed, her shrieks of disgust are sure to reach our neighbors two-doors down on either side of us. With the windows open, I wouldn't doubt that her screams are heard two, or even three city blocks either way.
The pediatrician further explained, that by my helping her to label her feelings, I would surely be saving future psychiatric visits for her later on. I smiled, put my hand on his knee, leaned in to Mr. Smarty-Pants Pediatrician, and replied, "She won't need the therapy visits, but I certainly will!" And I wasn't kidding in the least bit. There is nothing that drives me crazier than a child throwing out-of-control, screaming fits. It's just not acceptable in my book. It is worse to me than my husband laying in bed long after I have been forced to get out! Yeah, it's THAT bad!
I've completed day one of ignoring the behavior. I've listened to her scream for 20 minutes about not wanting milk in a Dora paper cup. I've listened to her scream for 30 minutes over the fact that she didn't get a candy cane because she was too busy throwing her previously mentioned fit. I've listened to her scream for 15 minutes because I denied her the milk she wanted later on since she never got it the first time.
Maybe the pediatrician was right. She won't need a doctor of psychiatry later on since I'm teaching her to label her feelings. Instead, she'll need a medical doctor to remove the dish towel I've placed in her mouth to mute the sounds of her shrieks of anger.
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2 comments:
Oh I feel for you. I have never had a child that screams like that, but my friend's daughter, who I keep in the mornings, screams like that the second her parents walk through the door. With me, she's perfect. With them, that's a whole other story. As soon as she sees them, she'll throw a fit at the littest thing. She'll throw herself on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs...I don't know how you do it.
I have been lucky with mine, and trust me, it was all luck! I don't know if there is a parenting skill to stop that sometimes...continue to ignore her if you can...but she might only get louder, these kiddos are smarter than we give them credit for sometimes!!
I have recently threatened to throw them outside if they scream in the house. I did it earlier this week with William and it seemed to work.
You're pedi sounds a lot like mine...
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