Thursday, July 2, 2009

Find Me A Hole...Or Some Super Glue

I know that it wasn't long ago that I swore that I wouldn't be heading back to Walmart ever again after my sweet, little Annie brought me to my knees in embarrassment, but if truth be told, I've entered those doors at least 50 times since I made that promise.

And on that 5oth visit, my clan was determined to embarrass me even deeper!

It almost seemed as if it was all part of their master plan. You see, my girls have entered a phase where frilly skirts and dresses are their, "threads of choice," and they talked me into toting them down to Walmart so they could pick out some fabric to make them some skirts.

Because my children easily engage in conversation with anyone and everyone, they quickly traded in the audience of the nice lady who was looking through the pattern books, to an audience of the two employees who were working at cutting the fabric. If I knew ahead of time, which way the conversation was going to go, I would have only chosen to buy 1/8 of a yard of one fabric, rather than 5 yards of five different fabrics.

In less time than it took the employee to cut one of the pieces of fabric, each of my four rugrats darlings had blurted out statements that were totally unfounded. Well, most of the statements were, anyways.

I'm not even sure of the question that was asked to intiate such conversation, and I was waiting for the hidden camera to make it's sudden appearance.

Angel began with, "Our mom doesn't even want us!"

Isaac followed up in confirmation with, "Yah! She screams at us ALL.THE.TIME!"

And as if it was relevant to the previous digs, Bella blurted out, "Yah....My mom had 2 miscarriages!"
Was it pent up anger spewing from my kids' lips? I'll admit that I have perfected the Art of Screaming Loud Talking, but to suggest that I "don't even want them?" That is utterly obsurd. While the employee fidgeted with a computer malfunction, instead of climbing under the fabric cutting table, I loudly explained to my kids how very much I wanted them.

With wide grins, our two audience members tried to comfort me. I'm sure they were worried about the loss of color from my face, and the pharmacy was a much safer departement for my needs than the fabric department at that moment in time.

Or maybe the hardware department would have better suited my needs. Had I first bought a tube of super-glue and glued those cute lips shut, I never would have had the problem in the first place!