Public Apology

To the afternoon staff and fellow patrons of the Grossmont Olive Garden Restaurant,

Yes, those of you who were inside the confines of Olive Garden between the minutes of 12:00 pm and 12:15 pm, you'll know why I am making this public apology on behalf of my four children and myself.

The first apology I make, on behalf of my son, to the couple sitting at the table situated on the north side of us, and to the waitress who happened to be walking between that table and ours. He didn't really mean to shoot that orange and gray suction dart in your direction. He was merely trying to load the gun when it backfired, launching in the direction of your peaceful lunch table. Please cut him some slack as he was unfamiliar with the logistics of the toy, as he had just purchased it at the Dollar Tree next door. We appreciate it, Dear Waitress, that you were friendly enough to return it to my son after it had just slapped you in the back! Please, find it in your heart to forgive him.

To the patrons who were sitting within a 10 foot radius of us, and the waiters and waitresses who were attending to them, on behalf of my two older daughters, this apology is sent out to you. It is my hope that you will forgive my girls for their absolute loss of control when I, their mom, informed them that they would be having cheese ravioli smothered in cheese sauce for lunch. I apologize that you were unable to hear the overhead music during the time my girls were expressing their frustration. I apologize that the ambiance was not giving you the feeling that you were enjoying Italian food at some quaint restaurant in Italy. I'm hoping that you find it in your hearts to forgive them, for they don't have ANY idea what a cheese ravioli even is.

Although I was thinking of all of you when I decided to cancel the drink orders and remove my crew from the restaurant so as not to further disrupt your lunches, I must apologize for the pathetic scene we caused as we made our exit. By the horrified looks on all of your faces, it is obvious that we did not do a good job of evacuating the premises in a quiet and orderly fashion. It is my hope that you will not have nightmares over the screams and shrieks that were escaping my childrens' mouths. I guess that even though they were not willing to eat cheese ravioli in cheese sauce for lunch, they were still not ready to leave Olive Garden. I can't say that I was either, as my mouth was watering for your delicious soup, salad, and bread sticks. Which is why I may have myself, lost control, which leads me to my next apology.

Per the request of my mom, who was also involved in the humiliating scene, I apologize for my immature behavior, and it is my hope that CPS will not be contacted for the manner in which I was dragging along my out-of-control crowd. It is my mom's belief that your horrified looks were more aimed at me, their completely embarrassed mother, who was trying to exit at 100 miles per hour, while the girls were only maxing out at a speed of 10 miles an hour. Four limbs are still attached and rotating correctly, therefore, I hope you will accept my apology.

Although I wouldn't remember your face if I was shown a line-up, I apologize to you, the woman who tried to talk sense into my children as we made it out the door and onto the sidewalk. I appreciate that you tried to remind them that Santa was watching, and had they heard you over their screaming fit, it may have worked. Unfortunately, at that moment in time, Santa didn't matter to them one.single.bit, and I was in such a fit of rage, what I wanted to reply to you was this: "Santa, who is Santa. Are you talking about that fake character who claims to leave presents under the trees in the homes of good girls and boys? He's not real anyways, and not one of these kids will ever get another present for as long as they live!" Again, to you, I apologize. I know you were only trying to help, and that was sweet of you!

And one last apology to the manicurists and massage therapists whose storefront happens to share the sidewalk with the big cement trash can that was on the way to my car. I apologize that you, too, witnessed the screaming fit of my children, but more importantly, it is my hope that you were not scarred by the scene of me plucking every toy from my screaming kids' hands, and plunk them into that big, cement trash can, in my own fit of rage. I'm hoping that one of you was smart enough to reach into the trash can and retrieve the perfectly packaged set of three highlighters, the squishy ball, and the previously mentioned gun with orange and gray suction darts. If nothing else, they would make wonderful stocking stuffers for a well-deserving child.


People-pleaser that I am, it is my sincere hope that all of you will forgive my children and myself for what you were forced to endure today inside the walls of Olive Garden and on the stretch of sidewalk that we travelled on to reach our car. Because I always try to find the good in situations, it is also my sincere hope that you are able to learn from my parenting mistake. The only thing that stooping to the level of three four year olds and a 2 1/2 year old did, was make the scene much more pathetic.

Again, I apologize, and I hope you enjoyed the rest of your lunch at the Olive Garden. Your peace was at my expense, as I enjoyed a lunch of Grilled Stuft Burrito in the south-west most corner of the Taco Bell Parking lot.

Sincerely,

Terrell Kamahi