S is for Sleep

I remember a day 'bout 4 years go,
All that they did was sleep.

I could feed them, and change them, pop them into a swing,

Out of their mouths, there was no peep.

In every picture I took, their eyes would be closed,

People questioned if ever they'd wake.

In fact, I once wished that they would open eyes more,

Boy, was that a mistake.

Four years later, the battle has changed,

To dreamland I'd like them to go.

The travel to this place takes much longer now,

It's actually much too slow.

Five hundred and one times, I remind them,

To bed they must return.

With each and every reminder,

My voice, it's increasingly stern.

Their tactics are quite developed,

They mature with each passing day.

New reasons to escape from bed,

New reasons to stay up and play.

"Mom, I need to go potty!"

"Mom, my bows, take them out."

"Mom, I am quite thirsty."

Some excuses they like to shout.

To put them down for a nap with much less stress,

To relieve myself of the pain.

A trip to Home Depot for the supplies,

Some rope, some locks, some chain!

I'll start by putting these onto their doors,

Like animals I'll lock them in,

It's the only way that I can conceive of,

This battle, I've got to win!

I'm convinced if that doesn't work,

Plan B will work for sure.

I'll escape to my own room, put earplugs in,

And add the chain and lock to MY door!